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Popular Christmas Cracker Jokes Shareable

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Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas Cracker Jokes

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Popular Christmas Cracker Jokes Shareable

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace” So I bought her nothing.

 

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

 

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 4.2 kg? Cause they had a weigh in the manor.

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas Cracker Jokes

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Shouldn’t you be on top of the tree, Angel?

 

There’s nothing like the joy on a kid’s face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.

 

What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum – you can’t beat it!

 

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.

 

How do you know when Santa’s in the room? You can sense his presence

 

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

 

What does Santa be afflicted by if he receives caught in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

 

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

 

Why did Santa visit the doctor?
Because of his bad “elf”!

 

Why did Santa’s helper see the medical doctor?
Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

What type of motorbike does Santa trip?
A Holly Davidson!

 

What do you name a cat inside the wilderness?
Sandy Claws!

 

Who provides affords to cats?
Santa Paws!

 

What do you name a dog who works for Santa?
Santa Paws!

 

What do you call Father Christmas within the seashore?
Sandy Clause!

 

What do you get in case you pass Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

 

What did the ocean Say to Santa?
Nothing! It simply waved!

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

 

Why doesn’t Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year.

 

The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas Cracker Jokes

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

 

Why did Michael’s grades drop after the holidays? Because everything was marked down!

 

Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

 

If your left leg was Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I come to visit you between the holidays?

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas Cracker Jokes

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

Best Christmas Joke ever

Now I am discussing Best Christmas Joke ever and I am sure that you will enjoy and also share it with your friends as well. Enjoy this like Funny Christmas quotes. This will also inspire you.

Knock, knock Who’s there? Arthur Arthur who?  Arthur any mince pies left?

 

What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve? Auld Fang Syne

 

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
 Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

 

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
 He got 25 days!

Best Christmas Joke ever

Best Christmas Joke ever

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
  A Holly Davidson!

 

What is the best Christmas present in the world?
 A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

 

How did Scrooge win the football game?
 The ghost of Christmas passed!

 

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
 The elf-abet!

Best Christmas Joke ever

Best Christmas Joke ever

What did Santa say to the smoker?  Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!

 

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
 Horn-aments!

 

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
 They always drop their needles!

 

Did Rudolph go to school? No. He was Elf-taught!

 

What do you get if you go Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

 

Who promises presents to infant sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws

 

What says Oh Oh Oh?
Santa taking walks backwards!

 

What is going Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
Santa going thru a revolving door!

 

What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver gives?
Idaho-ho-ho!

Why does Santa cross down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it ‘soots’ him!

 

Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
Elf-is Presley!

 

What do you name Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses!

 

What do Santa’s little helpers research at faculty?
The elf-abet!

 

What did Santa say to the smoker?

Please don’t smoke, it’s terrible for my elf!

 

Where does Santa cross when he’s sick?To the elf center!

What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less!

What do you get in case you pass Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!

 

What do you name a person who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause!

 

Where do elves visit dance?
Christmas Balls!

 

What do elves eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes!

 

What do you name a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?
An elfcicle!

 

Who is the king of Santa’s rock and roll helpers?
Elfis! (Thank you, thanks very an awful lot!)

 

What form of Shoes does Santa put on whilst he travels on a train?
Platforms!

What do you get if Santa is going down the chimney while a fireplace is lit?
Krisp Kringle!

 

Who is Santa Claus married to?
Mary Christmas!

 

How lengthy do a reindeers legs have to be?
Long sufficient so they can contact the floor!

 

What do reindeer cling on their Christmas timber?
Horn-aments!

 

Why are Christmas bushes so terrible at sewing?
They usually drop their needles!

 

Who is the Music Elf’s preferred reindeer?
Dancer!

Which of Santa’s reindeers must mind their manners most?
Rude-olph!

 

Why do not reindeer like picnics?
Because of all their ant-lures!

 

What do you get while you go a deer with rain?
A reindeer!

 

What’s worse than Rudolph with a runny nostril?
Frosty the snowman with a warm flush!

Jokes About Christmas Carols

So here is Jokes About Christmas Carols and these jokes are very unique. See this jokes and enjoy it. Keep reading like this interesting things. Comment below also and share your feelings with us also so we see your beloved comments.

 

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

 

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

Jokes About Christmas Carols

Jokes About Christmas Carols

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

 

Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws!

 

What do you call a dog who works for Santa?
Santa Paws!

 

What do you call Father Christmas in the beach?
Sandy Clause!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

 

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

 

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

Jokes About Christmas Carols

Jokes About Christmas Carols

What says Oh Oh Oh?
Santa walking backwards!

 

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
Santa going through a revolving door!

 

What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?
Idaho-ho-ho!

 

Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it ‘soots’ him!

 

Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf-is Presley!

 

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses!

Jokes About Christmas Carols

Jokes About Christmas Carols

 

What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!

 

Christmas Movie Jokes

Here is a collection for Christmas Movie Jokes this all are collected from famous Christmas movies which you are not already heard and all these are unique see this and enjoy.

That kid is in the manger again playing his drum WHERE ARE THE PARENTS???
– Dave Barry ‏@rayadverb

 

If you’ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you’ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
– Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

 

 

Be careful when you’re 12, because if you mention one thing you like, your aunt will give you a book about that every Christmas for life.
– Guy Endore-Kaiser ‏@GuyEndoreKaiser

Christmas Movie Jokes

Christmas Movie Jokes

We landed a ship on a comet and the batteries don’t last. Is this any different from your first Christmas?
– Albert Brooks ‏@AlbertBrooks

 

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

 

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
Santa going through a revolving door!

 

What did the sea Say to Santa?
Nothing! It just waved!

Christmas Movie Jokes

Christmas Movie Jokes

What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?
Idaho-ho-ho!

Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes

These are Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes and all this also collected from unique places see it and enjoy.

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

 

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!

Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes

Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes

What says Oh Oh Oh?
Santa walking backwards!

 

What do you call a dog who works for Santa?
Santa Paws!

 

What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas?
A stocking!

 

Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
Elf-is Presley

 

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
Because he had no body to go with!

 

What says Oh Oh Oh?Santa walking backwards!

 

What do elves learn at school?
The Elfabet!

 

Why can’t Christmas trees knit?
Because they always drop their needles!

Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes

Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes

What do you call a three legged donkey?
A wonkey!

 

Why are pirates great?
They just aaaaaaarrrrr!

 

What do you call a deer who can’t see?
No eye-deer!

 

Did Rudolph cross to high school?
No. He becomes Elf-taught!

 

Why did the Rudolph cross the street?
Because he turned into tied to the bird!

 

What do you name Rudolph with masses of snow in his ears?
Anything you need, he cannot pay attention you!

 

What did Santa ask Rudolph approximately the climate?
Is it going to rain pricey?!

 

Why did the turkey pass the road?
Because he wasn’t hen!

 

Why did the turkey pass the road?
Because it turned into the fowl’s day off!

 

What passed off to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled!

 

Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!

 

What do you get whilst you go a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!

 

What do snowmen put on on their heads?
Ice caps!

 

How do snowmen get round?
They experience an icicle

 

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Iceburgers!

 

When is a boat similar to snow?
When its adrift!

 

What song do you sing at a snowman’s party?
Freeze a jolly suitable fellow!

 

What did one snowman say to the alternative?
I could not hear them, so I even have snow-concept!

Why turned into the snowman rummaging within the bag of carrots?

He becomes picking his nose!

Why is winter a snowman’s favorite time of 12 months?
It is whilst a snowman can camouflage!

 

What befell while the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
She gave him the bloodless shoulder!

 

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
One it is deep pan, crisp or even!

 

Who hides within the bakery at Christmas?
A mince undercover agent!

 

What did Adam say at the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!

 

How does Christmas Day quit?
With the letter ‘Y’!

 

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!

 

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells!

 

Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill?
The National Elf Service!

Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes

Funny Christmas Cracker Jokes

What is white and minty?
A polo bear!

 

So this is my collection for Christmas Cracker Jokes. I hope you enjoyed it keep sharing and keep reading.

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